


forgery

by moralityism



Series: killing kindness [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: "hey there are other sides!", Gen, Non-Consensual Body Modification, Rainbow Theory, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, depends on your interpretation of the ending ig, maybe??? i can't tell, not like named ocs or anything just
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-05
Updated: 2018-11-05
Packaged: 2019-08-19 10:15:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16532624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moralityism/pseuds/moralityism
Summary: Kindness is bright and yellow, like the sun. (Kindness is dead, and Virgil killed him.)Originally posted on Tumblr 7/14/18.





	forgery

**Author's Note:**

> This fic contains no named OC Sides, although it does make brief references to the Rainbow Theory. The story inside the parentheses takes place in a different time period than the main story!

Nobody ever understood how Kindness and Fear were friends, least of all Fear himself. They were total opposites. Kindness was bright and cheerful even when things were really scary. Fear was dark and gloomy and always shot down Creativity’s ideas. Kindness wanted Thomas to go make friends with the other kids in their first-grade class, while Fear was worried they might be mean and tried to keep Thomas away.

Even still, when Fear got so scared he couldn’t move, when he couldn’t do anything but cry, it was always Kindness that wrapped him up in a hug and told him _it’ll be okay_. So Fear followed Kindness around like a shadow, and Kindness smiled at him and held his hand.

_(Years later, Patton looks up at Deceit where he stands on the stairwell, looming over all their heads. “You used to be so nice,” Patton says._

_Deceit smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “And look what happened.”)_

When they first discovered crayons, they came in packs of eight. The six colors of the rainbow, black, and white.

Each of the six Sides present picked a color and set to drawing out whatever they fancied. When Fear arrived (last, of course), Kindness and Feelings were already working together on a sunny sky.

Kindness smiled upon seeing Fear, and abandoned his bright yellow sun (and Feelings, who was very determinedly coloring the rest of the sky in blue) to run over to him and envelop him in a hug.

“There you are!” he cheered. “I thought maybe you weren’t coming!”

Fear murmured an apology, but Kindness shook it off. “Let’s go get you a crayon! Me and Feelings are making the sky!”

Fear nodded and allowed Kindness to drag him over to the crayon box, lying ransacked on the floor. Fear sat down to open it up, but all the colors were gone, taken by the Sides who had arrived before him. That was...disappointing, but he could live with it.

Fear heard a sniffle behind him, and when he looked behind him, Kindness was crying.

He pulled the black crayon out of the box and jumped to his feet hurriedly. “It’s fine,” he reassured Kindness, “I like this one!”

Kindness looked up at him with wide, glistening eyes. “Are you sure?” he fretted, but Fear nodded.

“Kindness!” Feelings yelled from behind them, and they both turned around. “We need birds!”

Kindness sniffled and grabbed Fear’s hand. “Fear can do that!” he called back.

_(Eventually, they would find the seven-color rainbow, and Logic would jump at the chance to use the new, unexplored “indigo”, freeing purple up for Fear. Those were the colors the sides would stick with as their favorites for the rest of their lives._

_Virgil misses when yellow made him think of the sun.)_

Then they were in the third grade. Thomas had watched a scary (far, far too scary) movie with his older brothers, and Fear was _freaking out_. He’d locked himself in his room, knowing the others wouldn’t come in. His room made them all freak out too.

Kindness was worried, though. Fear was his best friend, after all! And he seemed very upset when he fled to his room. Kindness _really_ wanted to go in and check on him, but Logic was holding him back. Literally. By his arm.

“You can’t,” Logic insisted, as Kindness strained against his grip. “You know what his room is like! You’ll hurt yourself!”

“And _Fear_ might hurt himself if I don’t go make sure he’s okay!” Kindness argued, ripping his arm free. “It’ll be fine! I’ll just go get him and come back.” He turned and dashed for the stairs before Logic could protest.

“Be careful!” Feelings shouted to his back, and Kindness turned back just long enough to wave.

_(“I should have tried harder,” Logan says, even now. “I shouldn’t have let go. I should’ve done better.”_

_Virgil tells him that he’s not responsible for what happened._

_He doesn’t say it was his own fault, but the implication hangs heavy in the air.)_

Kindness swung the door open slowly to find Fear cowering in his bed, hiding under all his blankets. “Hey,” Kindness murmured, placing a hand on the shivering lump.

Fear flinched back and scrambled to the far corner of his bed, peeking out at Kindness. Their eyes met, and Fear flung the blankets aside and tackled Kindness in a hug. Kindness hugged him back tightly, rubbing small circles on his back. “It’s okay,” he whispered, as Fear sobbed into his shoulder, “I’m here. Nothing’s going to hurt us. Nothing’s going to hurt Thomas.” Kindness guided them both back to the bed and laid them down, letting Fear cry himself out _. It’ll be easier in the daytime_ , he knew. _Everything is better when the sun is shining._

There was just one problem: Fear cried himself to sleep on top of Kindness. He couldn’t get out without waking Fear again and restarting the whole process.

He was getting more scared by the moment of what Fear’s room would do to him. The shadows were awfully dark, and (although he didn’t want to admit it to Fear) the movie really was scary. What if ghosts popped up and attacked them both? He wouldn’t be able to defend himself!

There was a noise next to him, and he jumped. It was just Fear, though, sighing softly as he shifted in his sleep.

Kindness couldn’t bear to wake him up, not with how peaceful he looked. He was never quite as content when he was awake. Kindness would just bear with the shadows and the worry until morning, and then they could go color together or something.

 _Yeah_ , he thought, trying to focus on the sound of Fear’s quiet breathing. _It’ll all be fine in the morning_.

_(There was a reason Virgil got so upset at the other Sides for coming into his room to get him.)_

Creativity was up early the next morning, before any of the others. He had to help Thomas pick out clothes, after all, and Thomas absolutely had to look his best!

He was barely five feet down the hall before someone slammed straight into him from behind, sending them both tumbling to the floor. He landed on his back, which let him see the person who crashed into him.

“Creativity!” Fear cried. He looked to be in even more distress than usual.

“What do you want?” Creativity huffed, shoving Fear off and standing back up.

“Something’s wrong with Kindness.”

Creativity blinked. “...Is he still in your room?” Fear nodded.

“He’s on my bed. He won’t wake up.” Creativity’s eyes widened, and he ran straight for Kindness, one hand on his trusty plastic sword, Fear right at his heels.

He slammed the door to Fear’s room open as he passed through. The noise was loud enough to scare Fear behind him, but Kindness, sprawled out on the bed, didn’t even flinch.

“Kindness...?” Creativity called, cautiously approaching the bed. Fear stayed in the doorway, looking distinctly guilty. Creativity understood why when he reached the bed and got a good look at Kindness.

Half of his face was covered in the same darkness that Fear had under his eyes.

_(Virgil tries to keep them out at all costs because of what he’s learned about his room: it corrupts the functions of the other sides. The longer they stay, the higher the chance of it becoming permanent.)_

Even after they gathered Logic and Feelings, it still took a long time for Kindness to wake up again. He did wake up, though, to their infinite relief.

That’s how they ended up in their present situation. Logic was sitting right next to Kindness, batting at his hand whenever Kindness tried to scratch at the dark purple covering the right half of his face. Fear was sobbing, Creativity was yelling, and Feelings was alternating between fretting over Kindness and trying to calm Creativity.

“Why did you keep him in there with you?” Creativity demanded, waving his sword at Fear. “If something happens to him, it’ll be your fault.”

“I’m sorry!” Fear wailed. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to!”

Kindness finally stood, pushing Logic’s hands away. “Really, it’s fine,” he assured them, putting a hand on Fear’s shoulder. Fear hiccupped. “I’m okay.”

“Does it hurt?” Feelings questioned, and Kindness shook his head.

“I’m okay,” he repeated. He wouldn’t look at any of them.

“Aren’t you scared?” Fear asked. Kindness’ grip was awfully tight.

Kindness just kept shaking his head.

Creativity took him by the shoulders and gently pushed him back down onto the couch. “It’s okay,” he said. “You can tell the truth. It’s okay to be scared.”

“I’m fine,” Kindness repeated. “I’m fine, I’m fine, I’m fine...” He still wouldn’t look at them.

It clicked for Logic first, and he tapped Kindness gently on the shoulder. “... _Can_ you tell the truth?”

Kindness looked up at him, eyes glistening with unshed tears, and didn’t say a word.

_(Kindness wants to tell them the truth. He’s not fine. He’s absolutely terrified. The shadows on his face don’t hurt, no, but they itch and it’s terrible and he wants them off._

_The idea of saying any of that to the others, though, ties up a knot in his chest so thick he can barely breathe. He feels like if he tells any of them how he really feels, they’ll come to hate him._

_So he lies, and lies, and lies, until even he isn’t sure what the truth is anymore.)_

None of them could quite pinpoint the moment Kindness changed. Logic staunchly believed it began the moment his face took on the shadows, while Creativity was certain it was the result of Fear withdrawing from the others out of guilt. Feelings refused to believe anything has changed at all. He was stubborn like that.

Even before the incident, Kindness had always made Thomas tell white lies when appropriate. Things like “of course I love your dress” or “I’m okay with you having the last cookie”. It was always for the purpose of not hurting others. Now, though, he seemed to think that any truth Thomas told would hurt someone.

“Lying is wrong!” Feelings shouted again.

“But she’ll get mad at him if she finds out he broke it!” Kindness yelled back. “He has to tell her he doesn’t know!”

Fear stayed out of it. He didn’t really talk to the others anymore. Logic and Creativity both blamed him for the mess with Kindness. Feelings didn’t seem to mind Fear’s presence, but he hung out with those two a lot. It was hard to speak with any of them.

The fight dragged on for a long time, growing more and more heated until Logic intervened. “She’ll notice it’s missing and figure out it was Thomas,” he explained. “The punishment will probably be less if he admits to it now.”

Kindness scoffed and stomped out of the room. Fear imagined he could see the darkness on his face glittering in the light.

That would be weird, though. Skin doesn’t glitter.

_(It takes years for Virgil to get up the courage to have a real conversation with Deceit about what happened to Kindness. Of course, when he actually tries to say anything about it, he just ends up crying._

_He’d hoped he would have grown out of that by now.)_

Feelings changed his name to Morality after that, deciding he’d defend what was right if Kindness insisted on pushing Thomas towards such bad behavior. Fear took on a new name too, not wanting to be left behind, and became Anxiety.

Kindness kept his name. He became more and more different, though, as time passed. He pushed Thomas to lie at every opportunity, and got mad every time the others disagreed. He refused to speak in anything but lies to the other Sides as well, becoming tense when pushed. Eventually, he took to completely avoiding them like Anxiety had, and isolating himself in his room.

“You need to fix this,” Morality pleaded to him one day. “You’re the only one who knows what your room did to him. Please talk to him.”

Anxiety had no idea what to say, but he found himself agreeing to what Morality asked of him anyway. And here he stood, in front of Kindness’ door, debating running away. Would Kindness snap at him? Maybe he really did blame Anxiety for what happened, and he was just waiting for Anxiety to walk into a trap so he could take his revenge.

Before he could knock, Kindness’ door opened, and Anxiety was pulled inside.

“What’s up?” Kindness asked him, smiling widely. Anxiety felt himself relax, as he always used to when Kindness was around. He missed that feeling, even though he was the one who ruined it in the first place.

Before he knew it, his eyes were filling up with tears and Kindness was taking his hands. “Oh, don’t cry,” he murmured. “Did the others say something to you? They’ve been so _nice_ lately.”

Anxiety shook his head. “No, I just...” He trailed off, looked up at Kindness. “What? You...you’ve never said anything like that before.”

“Can you blame me?” Kindness retorted. He dropped Anxiety’s hands and turned away, crossing his arms. “Have you seen the way they treat me? The way _Morality_ treats me?”

“Still...” Anxiety wrapped his arms around himself protectively. “It’s not like you at all.”

Kindness doesn’t respond.

_(“Virgil, I...” Deceit bites his lip, gripping the bedsheets tightly._

_Virgil feels every stutter like a rock in his stomach.)_

“Kindness?” Anxiety asked, voice quivering.

_(Finally, in a voice so small Virgil can barely hear it, Deceit whispers out, “I never blamed you for any of this.”)_

~~Kindness~~ turned to him, eyes narrowed. Green scales glimmered in the light. “Who’s she? Never heard of her.”

**Author's Note:**

> Come yell at me on [Tumblr](https://moralityism.tumblr.com/)!


End file.
